I have been unable to hit a trail of any kind in about 9 months…well since last August. I have never been this long without dust on my feet. This morning I woke to the crying of my 2 year old in the next room and understood the turn my life has taken, and why my soul seems disconnected. I took custody of him with my partner last fall. We have been scrambling to raise enough money each week to eat and get fuel into the car so we can get to work. No time or funds to get away from it all.
We live in suburbia just north of metropolis. There are municipal trails I have taken advantage of. They are very nice, with light poles so you can walk in the dark, and beautifully manicured lawns on both side of the perfectly cemented trail. every once in a while trees have been planted to give the impression of forest, even if they are perfectly spaced.
At lease there is wildlife. Society here calls them cougars, I call them plastic moms. This is a town smack dab in the middle of too much money and not enough. The trend for the above average looking woman is to marry well, have a few perfect looking kids, drive really expensive cars, and wear designer clothes…even to walk. I understand they are out looking for you handsome bad boys to sleep with. I am glad I am not on their list of prey, I might never go outdoors again.
There is a pain in the middle of my chest. Tylenol and Tums have been ineffective. I am hours and hours away from the ocean here, and I here it is not worth the drive anyway. No trail dust covers my hiking boots or running shoes.
I can only visit during the little time I have to meditate. I can see the bend in the trail, the climb, and the green of IAO. A green so intense the colors pull your soul out, play with it, then put it back through your cornea.
